Ellie's Auntie Nhu Doll

This week we had a very special package arrive in the mail....it had Ellie's first dolly in it.  And what makes this an extra special dolly is that it is one that we are calling "Auntie Nhu."  I thought it would be a great way to introduce Ellie to Nhu, even though Nhu is on the other side of the world.  It may be a type of doll that she won't be able to play with for a while, but we can still take it out and teach her who Auntie Nhu is.

The next doll we wanted to get her is one from the Philippines that we will name "Melissa," after the girl we have sponsored through Remember Nhu for the last few years.  Melissa is a part of our family in our eyes too.  We hope one day to meet her in person.  But in the meantime, we want Ellie to know who she is and learn to pray for her too.  My Aunt Kathy told me that she is going to try to find the doll that my Dad brought back from the Philippines for her when he was in the navy.  That would be amazing! If she can't find it, we will order a different one.

The other reason why I thought this idea was so great is that we want Ellie to love and help people all around the world.  I have prayed many times that she will be a woman who helps those who can't help themselves.  Whether that is going around the world and helping those who are mistreated, hungry, or alone.  Or whether that is helping her own neighbors down the street who need groceries or just need a friend...I just hope she loves people radically.

At church on Sunday we sang a song that got me thinking....

We must go live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken, we must go

Stepping forward, keep us from just singing

Move us into action, we must go

To act justly everyday

Loving mercy in every way

Walking humbly before You, God

You have shown us, what you require

Freely we've received

Now freely we give

As we sang, I was praying Ellie would grow to be a woman who does just that.

Also, Caleb and I really hope to adopt one day.  (That is a story in itself.)  We have committed that to Him because we don't know exactly how that will look time-wise or financially...but we have entrusted that dream to Him and hope one day to have another little kiddo in our home with us.  Who knows, maybe from US, or maybe from across the world.  So we hope to instill that love in Ellie from early on.

All to say, it was fun having the package arrive.  Hopefully it is one of the first, of many lessons, we can teach our little girl.

My First Official Mother's Day

Today was my first official Mother's Day as a Mom!  And we had such a great time...Caleb took Ellie and I to Silver Falls.  Since he and I met, I have mentioned from time to time wanting to go there but we just never had.  It has been over a decade since I had been there.  So he decided he wanted to make a day of it, grab us some Chipotle for a picnic lunch, and take us girls out there.  He said he had thought of getting me a pampering day or something, but he thought about it and concluded I would probably rather do this, since my primary love language is quality time.  He was right.  I couldn't have asked for a better Mother's Day.  Relaxing with my two favorite people outdoors.

Caleb is somewhere behind the waterfall in the picture above.  I stayed back with Elliot, since it was hard maneuvering the stroller to get there (although we LOVE our all terrain jogging stroller!!) and there was a pretty good mist she probably wouldn't have appreciated.  It was the perfect day too.  This week has been in the mid 80's, but today was closer to 70...and as a true Oregonian, I actually appreciate being outside when it is overcast.

Yesterday we went out to Dad and Diane's for a Mother's Day celebration with the family.  It was great just hanging out and having a BBQ.   I don't think Grandpa can get enough of little Ellie.  I have to just add....Caleb calls him "G Daddy Flan Flan" and it is funny cause at first it started as a joke...But Dad seems to laugh a little less every time...but its so funny! Caleb also plans to jokingly call his own dad "G Mac Daddy." Haha!

Also, this week my cousin Maleah came into town with her boyfriend Matt.  It was fun to see her again after so many years, and we picked up right where we left off.  Too bad they don't live here nearby or we would love to see them more often!

I was never worried bringing Ellie anywhere before this week.  She had yet to have any type of public melt down or crying what-so-ever.  That is until this week.  Once when I treated myself to a Mother's Day gift of getting my eye brows waxed...and thankfully I was surrounded by friends who understood at that point.  And then when we went to dinner with Maleah and Matt, she cried as well and I rushed her outside til she calmed down. Thankfully it was a really noisy restaurant already!  haha!  But I have to add a series of pictures that Maleah took that just crack me up of Elliot's face changes as she is about to cry!  Oh I love my little girl...even when she isn't so happy.

All to say, we have had a great time these last few days.  And we will definitely sleep well tonight.  (Well, if Ellie does too actually! hahaha!)  Especially since Caleb had to work security at the high school prom in Salem last night and didn't get home til after midnight.  We feel so old...tired so easily these days.  But it is a good tired cause our lives are so full.  

It has been such a great day celebrating the fact that I am a mother...and I am so thankful I get to be Ellie's mom.

Five Minute Friday: Comfort

I used to be unsettled by silence.  Now I realize silence is the most underrated thing there is.

I used to think that I needed to have the right words to speak to a hurting friend.  Now that I have experienced great pain, uncertainty, insecurity, and loss I know I was so very wrong.

The song "You say it best, when you say nothing at all" comes to mind....

There are times that words are not what bring comfort.  There are times when what I need most is a warm embrace, an understanding look...and faithful, loyal, never-leaving, always believing companion.

There is no place on earth that I feel safer than in my husbands strong arms.  My world could be shaken, my heart could be broken, I could lose everything.  Yet, his presence makes me feel more steady.  His love brings healing.  His grace restores hope.

Much like my Heavenly Father's embrace.

Sometimes comfort come most by just leaning in.

And sometimes providing comfort comes, not by profound wisdom and insight, but by open arms and a humble silence........

*************

Ellie's Second Month

Ellie turned two months old yesterday!

She is growing and changing by the day it seems.  Our little girl is getting big, and is oh so beautiful.  At her 2 month check up, this last week, she weighed 11 lbs 8 oz!  She is in the 85th percentile for height, and just under 50th percentile in weight for her height.  So she is a healthy girl!

Her strength continues to amazing us.  We keep wondering if it is her genes, or the organic whole food prenatal vitamins I took (as well as prenatal DHA).  Regardless, we are thankful, and it is fun to watch her milestones.  Her head and neck are so strong; she regularly holds her head up when you hold her or sit her up.  She would rather sit (assisted) or lounge more than laying down on her back...I think we are still dealing with some reflux.  She held a rattle for the first time a couple weeks ago...and let me tell you, her grip is soooo strong the doctor even commented on it at her appointment when she grabbed her stethoscope and won't let go.  (Caleb thinks its a great grip to hold a tennis racket one day, hahaha!)  She also is taking her WubbaNub/pacifier out of her mouth on her own and sometimes holding it afterwards.  She does not like to nap a lot of the time during the day (although Mommy makes her, even if she is fighting it the whole time).

But the best news is that she slept through the night on Thursday night!  I have to add that she did get restless a few times, and almost woke up, but I heard her and had to go put her pacifier in her mouth to keep her asleep a handful of times.  But, all to say, Elliot is growing and healthy!

I think our favorite thing about this last month is how much Ellie has been smiling.  She looks up and smiles back at us.  She is especially smiley in the morning.  It is just so precious.  And she is slowly starting to laugh a little bit...and definitely trying to talk and find her voice.

Another one of my favorite things from this month, although there are probably so many moms out there that will read this and think it is totally not okay (but I am gonna write it anyways cause this is our family journal and I want to remember it), is....after Caleb goes off to work, sometimes I put Ellie in bed next to me and we "sleep" for another hour or so.  Well, I sort of dose, she sleeps.  But the cutest part is I didn't know a baby this age could want to cuddle so much.  She literally wants to hold my hand (well, my finger) to fall asleep.  And I tried putting some space between us, but she leans her whole body towards me so we could be close.  It is so sweet.  I figured it was fine to do a little bit because it hasn't effected her napping in her crib later in the day.  And I know I won't be able to for long, once she can roll from her back to her front.

On Saturday Caleb took Ellie out for their first Daddy/daughter outing.  And of all things, which really shouldn't surprise anybody, he took her around town to try to hunt down some ammo.  Then he ended with taking her to a nearby park where his buddy, Corey, was to introduce her to him and his family.  Caleb told me it was so fun, she was a sweet little girl for him, and I could tell he felt proud to take her out and that she is his daughter.

This month I also took her to her first book club.  These ladies are such a great group of women!  We have had this group for a couple years now and I just love them all so much.  It was so fun to take her...and she loved it too because they just passed her around the whole time.  I can't wait for her to grow up surrounded by these ladies....and hopefully develop a love for Jesus and books in the process!

Here are some more pictures from the month that I just love....

 And some of my absolute favorites, is of Ellie in her ruffled football outfit (it has ruffles on the sleeves and back side)... :)  It's Daddy's absolute favorite outfit too!

We just love our little lady.  She is such a blessing, and brings us so much joy!  Happy Second Month Birthday Ellie J!!!

Long Days, Short Years

My friend Pam, who is like a mother figure, told me something a couple weeks ago and I have thought of it many times (and even quoted her) since then.  We were talking about the exhaustion you feel when you are a mother of a newborn.  She said, "Oh, the days are long but the years are short." I know that is true.  And when you think of it that way, it changes your attitude about not getting over a few hours of sleep at one time in weeks and weeks, and being spit up on again and again, and changing yet another diaper of a fussy little baby.  Instead you cherish each smile, each cuddle, each moment you can just stare at your little one's face as she sleeps.

I think I am thinking of this more this morning because so many things are reminding me today how short the years can be.

My college roommate, and friend who is more like a sister, lost her dad six years ago today.  I have thought of and prayed for her a lot today.  His years were short, but full.  And I am sure he would be so proud of her and her little family.

This of course reminds me of the pain of losing my mom, and the fact that she isn't here to experience motherhood with me.  But I feel like I understand a little more her love she had for me...and how she served me so selflessly when I made her days long.  I wish her years had been longer too.

I was rocking Ellie and singing to her earlier today.  The words of the song said, "I'm trading my sorrow for the joy of the Lord." And my mind went to my friend who is demonstrating that so clearly now.  She is 31, been married one and a half years, her son turned 6 months on the 1st, and she is now in hospice care from her battle with brain cancer.  But something her mom wrote has stuck with me.  She wrote about how my friend watched her son get his first bath in a big person bath this week. And what did she do?  As she watched him she decided to get in, clothes and all, to join him.  This just struck me so much.  She is soaking up every moment and living it to its fullest.  She knows the days are long, and the years are short.  It makes me think that even a long day can be short.

I want to live life like my friend.

All of this is a reminder today to appreciate the long days.  They are times spent with those I love. Cause the years can go by in such a short time.

Ellie's First Bible Study

Today was a monumental day.  Well, not really...but it felt like it! haha! I got to go to my first Mommy Bible Study.  Even though I was late (and I am a very punctual person normally) the ladies were so sweet to wait for me and Ellie.  And it was so worth the drive out there to just spend time with peers who have gone through all the life changes I am going through now.

I told Ellie before we got there, as we were driving through the country side, that we were going to go and introduce her to new friends.  The kids there will be many of the kids that she will grow up with at church, and they were so sweet to her.  Olivia came up and didn't make a sound but just touched Ellie's hand.  And Aiden was so sweet, even though he is all boy, he sat next to her in her car seat and just smiled at her and said she was cute.

Afterwards, a handful of us went to the tulip festival, which just happened to literally be next door to the home we had our study at.  When I was a kid and we lived outside of Seattle, we would go to a tulip festival near our home.  And it was fun to do the same with Ellie today.  Maybe it will turn into a tradition.  It was a nice afternoon and I appreciated the warmth of the sun beating down on us...I am so glad I went.  I had wondered if it would be too much for Ellie in one day to do both, but she did great! No tears at all.

I am trying to learn a balance with how to keep going in life and getting things done and go places....yet, not set Ellie up to fail by pushing her too hard that she has a melt down.  I have yet to take her somewhere where she breaks down.  I know it is bound to happen sometime....but I am trying to prevent as much as possible, yet still keep living.  Oh...the lessons that come with parenthood. :)

Even though Ellie slept for half the time we were gone, I don't think it was very deep sleep and she is out!  She is sleeping so hard right now as she naps.  So I just made a pot of decaf coffee and think I will enjoy some "me" time before I try to take a mini nap myself before Caleb gets home.  I slowly think life is becoming more "normal" again.  Except normal is now more full with little Elliot here with us.  

On a side note, driving through the countryside today made me want to move out there even more.  It was so peaceful and relaxing.  Caleb and I have been praying about moving that direction, since that is where he works.  So we will see what God does.  In the meantime we pray.  Who knows what is in our future!  Regardless, it is fun to dream with God.  If not, I will still have my bi-weekly drives out there for Mommy's group. :)

Ellie's First Month

This last month we went from being a family of just the two of us (which we loved), to now being a family of three (which is even fuller)!  It has brought with it so many memories and emotions that I can hardly express it over a simple blog post.  Not only that, but I don't seem to have too much time to blog anymore...that and sleep deprivation....but I want to post some pictures of our sweet little Elliot Jane's first month with us.

Our hearts are full of love.  This little girl has changed our lives already.  From the moment she arrived on March 5 at 3:16pm, we will never be the same.  Here are some memories that we have documented.

 Some of the photos that were taken from the hospital...

Once we got home, we couldn't take our eyes off of her.  We had so much fun having lots of "firsts" with her...first bath, first walk, etc....

Daddy really loved holding Ellie J....he would hold her every chance he got!

We also had Nana B come visit (Caleb's mom).  She went with us on Ellie's first real outing, to get her newborn photos taken and also Powell's Bookstore (how appropriate with Caleb's mom!).  Nana B spoiled her with books, books, and more books! Hopefully we have a reader on our hands!  Nana B got st see her change so much in the little week she was here...I can only imagine how much she will have changed by the time she sees her again this summer!

Some random photos that I like of Ellie as she has grown this month.....

Some things I want to remember :

Ellie smiled her first smile only hours after she was born, and she smiled at her Daddy.

Ellie rolled over for the first time (from back to front) at just 2&1/2 weeks, again in front of Daddy.  Mommy didn't quite believe it until I saw it a couple of days later.  She rolls over from her left and right side both.

Ellie has only let Mommy get 2 hours of sleep one or two nights this month.  Then again, in the last few days we may have got our "rhythm" down and she has slept more like 4 or 5 hours.  Mommy has really worked hard to get Ellie on a little bit of a feeding schedule, which has helped her sleep longer at night I think.

Ellie's first "toy" has been her WubbaNub (a pacifier with a stuffed giraffe on the end).  We sometimes find her already holding onto it with her little arm, even when she isn't using the pacifier.  Although she can't fully grasp toys with her hands yet (like she can Mommy's hair! haha), she will hold him with her arm.  We call him Mr. Suckers...Daddy named him for Ellie.

Mommy loves it when Ellie coos when she is going to sleep.  Sometimes Mommy stands by her crib in the middle of the night when she does this and just watches her sleep for a minute, before kissing Ellie's head and going back to bed.

Daddy loves rocking Ellie and holding her as she sleeps.  He can do this for literally hours and still doesn't want to put her down.

Daddy and Mommy's favorite thing to do with Ellie is to go on walks as a family.  Daddy usually convinces Mommy to let him be the one to wear her in the baby carrier.  And Ellie falls asleep so fast when we walk her in it....it is a great way to calm her if she is being a fussy baby.

The photo above was taken today, on her 1 month birthday!  She has already grown so much!  She is officially out of all her newborn clothes and into 0-3 month.  I wonder how quickly she will grow out of those!

As I said at the beginning, our hearts are full....overflowing with love for this little gift we have been given on loan from God.  Our family feels more complete since she arrived....