39 Weeks...

Wow! Today I am 39 weeks pregnant with our little girl!  She could come anytime now!  This is a picture that Caleb took of me yesterday...

I am getting more and ready to meet in person our little lady as each day goes by.  She is getting really strong, I can feel it.  I have been telling people that I don't have to wait until she is older to find out what sport she excels at....she is already a pro at kickboxing!  My ribs in particular! haha!  It is pretty uncomfortable.  But at the same time it is really reassuring that she is okay in there, growing and active.

I am kinda losing my appetite and everything is taking much more energy now.  And I have been drinking my red raspberry leaf tea to get ready for delivery.  Her dad still thinks she is gonna come past her due date.  We will see!  In the meantime, I am thankful that I have been feeling better the last couple of days, so if she comes I won't be struggling like I would have been had she come last week when I was sick.

So the waiting game continues!  She will be here before we know it.  So in the meantime, we are trying to enjoy the quiet and get our rest when we can....

Updates on the Family

Caleb's dad, Bob, went back to his doctor yesterday for a follow-up appointment.   He finished his radiation treatment for his larynx and throat cancer a few weeks ago.  And he got a great report!  No signs of any tumor left and looks like the treatment did what they wanted it to do. He now has to go back every two months for check-ups.  We are so thankful he was able to get through his treatments.  He had weeks of driving 4 hours (two hours each way) to Amarillo for his treatments, every day of the week except Sundays.  And get this....he never missed worked through it all.  That man is a hard worker!  He (and Sheila!!) were very thankful for Ward, Bob's brother, coming out for a good portion of his treatments and helping out.  Ward was able to help drive Bob to and from his appointments each day so that Sheila could keep working and not get overdone either.  What a relief to know that he is done with treatments.  And, as of now, he has no signs of cancer.  Praise God!!!

The day that Bob finished his treatments, Sheila purchased her ticket to come out and meet the baby.  So we get to see her in a couple weeks!  So hard to believe this time is already here! I cannot wait!  She says she just wants to be put to work....to help clean and cook and things.  But I have a feelings she will be so smitten and just want to sit and snuggle up with the baby and good book.  I hope I am up to just spoiling her too.  She has been through a bunch these last few months herself!  I know that we will do some Dutch Brothers runs because that is by far her favorite coffee here in the area.

And today I have to just pause and thank God for blessing us.  When I think back to this time last year, Caleb had been in the hospital for a couple days and we still didn't have any answers or relief for him.  It was the hardest time in both of our lives.  And today Caleb texted me that he feels good and it is a good day to be alive.  (I love how joyful and optomistic my husband is...it makes me smile.)  It is true though.  God has blessed us.  We are so thankful for healing and so excited for the addition to our family that our little girl will be.  We were just saying last night that we feel God's favor on us and we see fruit of Him working in our lives.  And that gives us so much gratitude and hope.  Even though we want our girl here with us now, we also are sooooo cherishing every moment that we have just the two of us.  We were just saying last night that we might really miss these times, which we just love, just he and I together. But it will be so different, and so much more full in many ways.  I know we appreciate these times directly because of the times we had together last year.

We are just thankful...oh so thankful.

The Clock Is Tickin'....

I cannot believe how soon our little girl is going to be here.  I feel like we are going to blink, and the next thing you know, we will be carrying our daughter into our home as one little family.

This weekend I was very thankful that Caleb had a three day weekend.  We went to our last birthing class on Saturday.  And then after we got home, I crashed and didn't get up again until this morning.  I was in bed all day Sunday and Monday.  Caleb and I were saying that, other than the flu we both got last year, this was the worst I have ever been sick since we met.  It was just a nasty, nasty cold.  I feel like I healed some after getting a lot of rest last night.  The nights before that I was up hacking and blowing my nose and trying to breathe all night that I couldn't sleep. But last night was better.  And I am hoping that by the time she comes I will be rested up and healthier.  So now I am hoping she waits a little bit before she makes her arrival.

I wonder when that will be.  If she is born this Saturday she will be born on what would have been my mom's birthday.  Or maybe the following week.  We will see her shortly!!  Regardless, God knows the moment she will enter this world.  But we are definitely anticipating meeting her!

While I was down this weekend, Caleb was able to tackle a bunch of projects I needed his help on.  He put together her pack n' play, my jogging stroller, the high chair, etc.  We just turned on music as he worked, and I laid there just watching him.  At times I would throw in a song about daddy's and their girls.  At one point he was like, "Are you trying to make me cry?  I am just going to focus on my work here to distract me."  It was cute.  Another time I asked him what he was thinking when I saw this look on his face.  He said, "I can't wait to see her little hands and feet.  She is going to be so small!"

This morning I just made myself some decaf and opened up the windows.  It has been the most beautiful February.  Although it isn't mid 60's like one day last week, it is warmer than it normally is in February, and sunny!  And considering I am still warm from being sick, the cool fresh air feels good.  So I opened up the windows in her nursery, curled up on the glider and put my feet up and read a little bit of the Bible aloud so she could hear me read.  I had anticipated reading all the gospels to her before Christmas....it didn't happen.  I got through most of just Matthew.  And then at the start of the year I started reading the Bible from the beginning in chronological order.  So, I kinda detoured a bit.  I do hope that I am able to at least finish Matthew before she comes.

So now the waiting game continues.  And we are just praying I heal up, that Caleb stays healthy, and that Baby Girl is healthy and active in there and arrives safely.  Our life is going to change forever, ever so soon.  And as I lay here, still not feeling great, I can't help but smile because we know we are blessed and she is a gift from God to us.

Caleb's Way With Words....

I have to say that my husband has a way with words.  He isn't a smooth talker really.  But he has such an endearing way of expressing his love.  It brings a smile to my face every day.

I don't know how many times a day we tell each other we love each other.  Just in passing, as we say hello, and we say goodbye, and random times in between.  It is the most common phrase we use with each other.  Well, last night I wasn't feeling too well.  So he had stood up and was giving me a hug.  For some reason, instead of saying "I love you," I told him, "I like you a lot."  His response put a smile to my face, and for a moment I didn't think of my sore throat.  He said, "I like you a whole lot too, that sometimes I don't know what to do with myself so I just act goofy."  hee hee.  Totally Caleb.  I love it.  I love him.  And the thing is, I know it is true!

Well, the greatest thing is that today his mom sent me a text.  She had found a Valentine he had written her in third grade.  And the greatest part is that I can totally see him writing it!  Here is a picture of the most adorable Valentine ever, from little Caleb!

One of my most frequent prayers is that our little girl will be sweet.  In other words, I hope she is sweet just like her Daddy....

Hillside's Baby Shower

This last Sunday our church threw Caleb and I a co-ed baby shower!  It was so much fun having Caleb there with me to open up all the gifts and to celebrate our little girl together.  It was really like a family affair...he was with me, and we were with our church, who is like family to us. What  a special time!

Not only is our little girl so spoiled already with all the amazing gifts they gave her, but I am thankful that we have such a great church to raise our little one in.  She will be surrounded by people who love Jesus and love her.  I am fully confident of that.  And I am excited to see how she interacts with the endless number of kiddos our church has....trust me, half our church is kids! hahaha!  I cannot wait!

Thank you, Hillside, for blessing us yet again! We love you very much! And we cannot even wait til we can carry our little girl in to church with us as one little happy family!

Oh, and on one quick side note....just for documentation sake...here is a picture of me that day. The day before 37 weeks.  Black is very flattering...just saying.  :)

The Endless To-do List

There seems to be soooo many things to do before Baby Barnes comes.  And so little energy to do it!

I called my friend Liz today and she immediately asked, "So how are ya feeling?"  My response was, "I am at a point where I am tired but don't know if I should take a nap.  I want to be productive, but I don't have the energy.  I kinda just feel delusional, so I opted to call you."  She told me to go take a nap.  hahaha!

Yesterday I washed our duvet cover and sheets, because I know if our girl comes soon those chores may be taking backseat in the priorities.  And I also started gathering things to pack in Caleb's hospital bag.

Today I found out what one of the best workouts for a pregnant person is:  cleaning the shower!  And I also started to pack the food we will want to bring to the hospital for Caleb, considering he is on a really restricted diet.  I also did a trip to Costco to buy space saving vacuum bags.

Tomorrow I hope to organize my closet (to fit more things in it) using the bags.  And also tackle my own hospital bag more.  And if I am up to it, I hope to finally get to cleaning my kitchen and bathroom floors.

This weekend we have birthing classes and we really need to get the car seat installed and bassinet assembled.  And on a super fun note, my church is throwing me a baby shower on Sunday! I cannot wait for it!!!

So things are coming together.  But it is slowly but surely.  I seem to only have energy to do one thing, then lay down for a bit, then do another, and lay down, etc... Pregnancy has definitely been more exhausting for me than mono was!

People keep telling me that I should get my sleep while I can.  So the good thing is that for the last week, I have been waking up early and getting Caleb off to work.  Then, I go back to bed for another hour or two.  It has been priceless!

I am anticipating when I actually start going into labor.  Caleb's phone now is off silent or vibrate when he is at work, so if I call he will hear it.  Crazy! Our little lady could come anytime, or even be over a month still....oh my, I hope she doesn't go past her due date!  Caleb's prediction is March 8th!  Mine is the last week in February.  I just hope she isn't too late because I was over 9 lbs. at birth.  And Caleb was 3 weeks late (even though he was small).  I can only imagine how big she could be if she is too late!

Regardless, we are in baby mode now.  Things are coming together.  Even if we aren't "ready," it will be perfect timing!  God knows the very moment she will join us, and it will be so exciting!!!  So in the meantime, I am just trying to get as ready as I can.....if you can even be ready for something like this!

36 Weeks and Counting.....

Wow, I am 36 weeks tomorrow...and it totally feels like it!  I don't want to complain because, when it comes down to it, I am so thrilled that our little lady is healthy and active.  It is quite amazing when I see her moving around so much and makes me so excited to meet her.  But it is getting extremely uncomfortable for me.  If I lay down or even sit too much I get pain in my ribs in my back right side pretty bad.  And our sweet one is sitting soooooo high that I am starting to feel it in my ribs and lungs pretty good.  And she is getting pretty good at kicking me in the ribs.  BUT, again, I am thankful!  I just woke up from an hour nap to watch the Super Bowl with Caleb.  And will probably take another one today considering I was up from 2:30 to almost 5am last night, just feeling uncomfortable.

For Caleb, well, he has been saying that once we are past the Super Bowl he is ready to go if she comes.  Hahahaha!  I was talking to some ladies at church today and Jamie gave me the idea to trick him into thinking that my water broke at kickoff and we need to leave and go to the hospital and miss the game.  Hahahaha!  He would be bummed to miss the game.  But then again, not a day goes by that he doesn't smile and talk about how excited he is getting for her to be here.  He talks about it multiple times a day.

So now, time for the game.  I think I am gonna go make myself some more dark hot chocolate.....

A Promise Fulfilled....

I cannot believe that it is already February.  It is amazing to think were we were this time last year.  In a couple weeks we would be going to the hospital to treat Caleb.  To say it was a difficult time for us is an understatement.  It was hard to look to our future.  It was hard to know how to dream.

And I can't help but think back to one time in particular last January.  We had just brought Caleb to a specialist, who had run a ridiculous amount of tests, only to come up with what seemed more questions.  And he put Caleb on an insane amount of medication.  He said that he had only prescribed that many a couple times in his entire career.  So there were the immediate concerns of how bad this could actually get...nobody really knew, since nobody really knew what was going on.  Every time we thought it couldn't get worse, somehow it did.  There were financial concerns, insurance concerns.  There were the concerns for permanent damage and even the scary thought that this could take Caleb's life.

But there was also a quiet concern that Caleb and I both had, which we spoke of from time to time.  That was the concern that we would never be able to have children.  You see, since we first got married a couple years before that, we knew we wanted a family.  We struggled our first year with him going on medication that would mean we couldn't try to have children.  So when we finally took him off those meds when he got better, we were hopeful.  We got so excited.  But literally the day after the doctors gave us the "okay" to try to have a baby, Caleb flared up in what would be the scary downward spiral that he experienced last year.  Our dreams felt shattered.

And so that day, last January, when the doctor told us they still didn't have answers, and he still seemed to be getting worse and worse, I went for a run.  I wanted to clear my heart and mind.  I put some worship music on and ran.  And cried.  And told God I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know how to feel.  And I didn't know how my reaction to all this should be because I felt hopeless, when I knew I should trust God.  So I started to ask Him questions.

I remember specifically asking Him to please clear the fog of confusion of what was going on in Caleb's body and to heal Him.

And then I stopped running and started walking.  (I was on an indoor track that went around basketball courts below me.)

Then next thing I asked, I told him I was scared to ask Him.  But I did anyways.  I asked Him if one day we would be able to have a baby.  As I was asking Him this and telling Him I don't know what it would look like for Him to give me an answer, but I needed hope, something happened that made me smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time.  There was a kids class below me that I hadn't known was there because they were tucked away out of my view.  And literally as I am talking to Him about this, a little girl runs out to the middle of the court and looks up at me and started smiling really big and started waving frantically at me.  The next thing you know, the entire class was there waving at me that the entire class stopped what they were doing to join.  I waved back and smiled through tears.  I think I just kept saying, "wow, God, wow.  Thank you!  I am taking that is from you...."

I told Caleb right away, and only spoke of it to a couple people in the days that followed.  But I had thought back to that time multiple times in the days ahead.  It just seemed like a far off dream.  And I told God that I didn't want to doubt Him and I wanted to trust Him that it was an answer from Him and not just coincidence.

Well, I can't help but continue to thank Him today as we are getting ready for the arrival of our daughter.  One year later.  In fact, if she is even a week early, it will be over the one year "anniversary" of Caleb's hospitalization last year.  What a difference!  This year's hospital visit will be vastly different than last year.

So really there aren't many words to express my deep thankfulness to God.  He has shown us a huge amount of love and compassion and generosity.  He has been so very good to us.

I can't wait to meet my daughter.  Maybe she will have curly hair like the little girl that ran out on the basketball court....

Fundraiser for Weights

Caleb is the head strength and conditioning coach at the high school of the school district he works for.  They have recently been working on building and growing the weight room.  And considering how big of a group is now coming out everyday for training, they have been in need of multiple additional sets of dumbbells.  One was donated through a local corrections facility.  And then today, Caleb brought a handful of the guys (who also played football for him this last fall) out for a fundraiser.  After a morning of racking up tons of leaves, pine cones, cleaning up moss on sidewalks, etc., they have probably earned enough money for half of another full set.  Even though it was a bunch of work, and they built up a good appetite, they did a great job!  And they just left to go get some Chipotle.  I think they had a good time doing it.  What a good group of guys!  Hopefully all this hard work will pay off even more when they go into football season again next year, bigger and stronger.  In the meantime, they are having fun and working hard.....