His Very Own

There wasn't much to say, not many words really, when she told me her story.  But, wow, it has got me thinking for months now.

She talked about how she was put in foster care when she was a young girl, only to be abused in many ways.  And she talked about the confusion, heartbreak, anger, and fear that resulted.   I cannot imagine what would go through a young girl's head, as she tried to process that type of experience.  She told me that she always felt like she wasn't good enough, or she must have done one too many things wrong, because everybody seemed to change their mind and give her back.

That is, until a special family took her in.  They loved her and told her their love was unconditional.  At first, she didn't believe it.  But, as time went on, she started resting in the fact that she was wanted.  She felt like they saw her as good enough.  She didn't want to be scared of them changing their minds.

But one day she found out she was still scared.

By this time, they had told her they were adopting her as their very own daughter.  They were taking her in, and she was going to be their family.  All that was theirs was hers, and nothing at all could make them not love her.

School was out for the day and she and her mom had planned to meet in the parking lot after classes were dismissed.  She sat at the top of the stairs, that led down to the parking lot, and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  As she waited, fear slowly started to creep into her mind.

"She must not be coming," she thought.  "I must have done something wrong.  I knew it was just a matter of time before I wasn't going to be their daughter anymore...."

And she started to get mad.  She was mad that everything they told her had been a lie.  They changed their mind and their love was conditional, or so she thought.

As my friend started to make plans of where she was going to walk, thinking she was abandoned, a van pulled up to the bottom of her stairs.  It was her mom.

She got down to the van and, instead of sitting in the passenger side, she opened the back door and moved all the way to the very back seat.  She was mad.  Her walls were up.  She wanted to get as far away from her mom as possible.

Finally her mom broke the silence, trying to figure out what was wrong.  They would figure out that it had been one big misunderstanding.  Her mom had been waiting for her all along, where she thought she should be.  She thought they had agreed to meet at the other side of the parking lot.

My friend was still mad.  She was confused.  Her emotions were raging.

Then her mom did something remarkable in her eyes.  It was a pivotal moment.  He mom unbuckled her seat belt in the driver's seat and started crawling over the rows of seats in the van, until she quietly sat by her daughter.  She embraced her and held her close and told her words of affirmation.  She told her that there was no way she was going to leave her.  She told her that she has always loved her and she doesn't have to be afraid of doing something to change her mind.  It was unconditional.  She was her daughter, plain and simple.  She is family.  And nothing would ever change that fact.

As my sweet friend told me her story, I paused and thanked God for the picture it painted for me.  I am God's child....I have been adopted into his family as His very own child.  Romans 8:14-15 says "For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.  For have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'"

Even though there are times I feel unworthy (cause I am), or feel undeserving of His love (cause I am), nothing separates me from His unconditional love.  There is nothing I can do to make Him love for me more.  And there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less, even if my emotions tell me otherwise.  In fact, that same passage in Scripture goes on to say that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus (verses 38-39)."

My friend's story illustrates for me how I think we often approach God.  In a way, I think we can trick our minds into thinking we have discredited ourselves from His love, and try protect our hearts and put walls up emotionally from Him.  But He desires our love, and our trust.  He waits for the times where He can just nestle up next to us and enjoy us, as His dear children.

It makes me wonder how special of a moment it was, when my friend called her mother "Mom" or "Mommy" for the first time.  I am sure it was a tender moment for both of them.  Maybe it was scary for her, as she felt undeserving, yet so comforted.  And, for her mother, I am sure it meant the world to her to know what that meant.  Her daughter trusted her, and was willing to be vulnerable and intimate.  I just have this feeling that is how the Heavenly Father feels when we approach Him, calling Him our "Father," our "Daddy." 

How precious it is, and yet so profound, that the Creator of the world, who sits on the throne of the universe, allows us to be His family, His children.  We need not be fearful of not being enough.  We need not be fearful of Him changing His mind, or His love wavering.  We can trust our heart, our lives, into His loving care.

How amazing that we have to opportunity, the privilege, to be His very own child.......

I just have to pause and say, "Thanks Father.....so much."