I looked online at what the Webster's Dictionary defines as "romance" and was completely disappointed. The first definition that came up as a verb was:
1. to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery
My response is that is completely ridiculous. Now, don't get me wrong, gifts and attention are definite ways we can show love, for sure. But if this were all romance is, how selfish, and even manipulative, is that definition?!?!
After dropping Caleb off at work today, my mind wandered as I listened to music and admired the beautiful scenery around me. It is a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, there is lots of fog, and there is frost all over the trees. It all radiates beauty.
But I have to say that thinking of my relationship with Caleb, I feel like I am learning many lessons on the beauty of what true romance is.
It is true that it breaks my heart that Caleb hasn't been able to drive, and now even walk, into work for months. I cry over it. But I have to say that I know these are special times, when I take a step back from it and think about it. We have so much time together, even if it is because of an icky disease.
Today I was praying and asking God for a morning tomorrow that looks like today. This is because, before I go off to work tomorrow, I really want to take Caleb for a walk in his wheelchair. I have been saying for days that he needs to get out of the house and work building. Each day when I wheel him in and out of work, I comment that he needs fresh air. And so I am asking Jesus for a morning that we can simply enjoy getting out together. And to be honest, I cannot express how romantic that sounds. Truly. The thought of wheeling Caleb around to enjoy a beautiful morning, well, it just sounds like a wonderful thing, in spite of why he can't walk himself. I get to help him and bless him in ways I couldn't otherwise.
And for Caleb....I don't even know if he knows how many times I have cried over a comment he made a few weeks back....and by that I mean cry in a good way. I was getting ready for the day and he was reading his Bible in the other room. He said, "Hey Sweetie, check out this verse..." and he continues to recite the Scripture he was reading to me. I responded with "Oh, thank you, that is just what I needed to hear." And then, he says to me (oh I tear up even writing this), "You know, I can't do much, but I can wash you in the Word." It is true that Caleb is restricted from doing many things. But I don't know if he even realizes how much he is succeeding in one of the main things that matter....protecting and providing me food for my soul. By this he is showing me true love. Ephesians 5:25-28 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself."
So, as I go about my day, I have peace this morning. My heart is warmed by the thought that I am experiencing a love that is so unlike what the world experiences or strives for. Romance is not the getting dolled up to impress and flattery of one another. I am learning that the deepest romance, the romance worth fighting for for a lifetime, is one that elevates the other person, serves them, and directs them to Jesus and not yourself. True romance can be expressed in the everyday things. And it is so worth it....
3 comments:
I had a wise friend who once told me that in a successful marriage a husband and wife "lift each other up" in ever possible sense. Its rare... The type of relationship and appreciation you guys have. It's nice that you realize and cherish it.
How beautiful, Julie!
Julie, you have brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I can't even begin or pretend to know what you and Caleb are going through. We live in a society that gets bored and is constantly looking for the next fix (feeling), whether in relationships or substance abuse and it's very self motivated. What you have written about how you and Caleb experience romance and love is amazing and selfless. Also, the fact that you both truly love the Lord and find hope, peace, rest and trust in Him is encouraging to me and not something that you see in most relationships even in those who are quote unquote Christians. So as hard as this is for both of you, thank you for sharing your hearts and I do pray that God will give you peace, hope, joy, love....that the world truly cannot understand.
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