A Birthday In The Sunshine

You know you are old when.....

Your husband asks you if you want to go out of town for your birthday, and the most amazing thing you could think of is just staying home, relax, and save money!!!!

And that is what we did.  And it was amazing. :)

But I have to say that Caleb did spoil me!  He made me coffee in bed (which actually he does everyday), he made me the most amazing cajun chicken lunch and got us dessert, we played Nertz out in the sun, watched "Oklahoma," and read a chapter from the book we are reading together right now.

He did bring home a grill for me as well....which really is the gift that keeps on giving because it means he is going to cook for me more regularly!  That is the best part about it! :)

I am so blessed, and I absolutely know it.  So tonight, as I start a new year of my life, I will lay my head on my pillow thankful...and relaxed, because it has been such a great day. 

Jilleney Beaney

I love my sister, Jillene.  My nickname for her is "Jilleney Beaney."  (My other sister, Janelle's, nickname is "Janelley Belly.")  Jillene thought it was funny for a long time...until I started going to the same college as her.  And then, before you knew it, multiple people were calling her by that nickname as well.  It definitely caught on.  I would be walking down the hallways with her, and somebody would shout out, "Jilleney Beaney!" and I would just laugh so hard.  And she would look at me and smile as she rolled her eyes.  Anybody that knows her well, know the look/smirk I am describing.  :)

Considering she lives in the Bahamas, I don't get to see her too often.  So our sister time that we had yesterday was much overdue.  She just got to spend a ton of time talking, catching up, laughing, meeting Dad for lunch, shopping, crying, cooking, eating dinner and playing cards with Caleb.  I am desperately trying to convince her to move back.  It looks like I will have to wait for at least another year...so until then I just pray she decides to make the move. :)

Either that...or if anybody knows of any great, godly men who are single, I am now accepting applications to date her! :)  I am determined to get her here somehow!!!! Love you Jilleney Beaney!!! :)

Our Very Own (Self-Written) Love Song/Poem :)

Last night I was working on stuff, as Caleb played his guitar.  And we came up with the brilliant idea of writing our very own song of how we met and got married!  (Although, there isn't a chorus...so it is more like a poem.)  It ended up being really funny and so here it is! haha!  Side note:  Every time a line changes, it switches from my view to his view, etc.  :)

The Barnes' Ballad :)



While on Facebook, one autumn night,

A super hot guy caught my sight.

She stalked me for the rest of the night,

And when she saw me the next day, it was love at first sight!

Hiking, chess, movies, and food,

He was quite endearing as he tried to be smooth.

Eating, cuddling, and watching TV,

She just couldn't get enough of me!

I'd try to leave early, but she kept me late,

She fed me well, and I gained weight.

I told him that he ought to move slow,

Or I'd freak out and tell him "no."

I waited two days til I told her she's the one.

Another month later and she was done.

He was so confident and told me to pray,

And a few weeks later was our engagement day!

It was cold outside as he got on one knee.

I jumped up and screamed, my heart filled with glee!

I took her back home to pop the question,

Got a big 'ole "Yes!" without hesitation.

Could've been the fire, could've been the song,

Whatever I did, it couldn't go wrong.

Our engagement was quick and I was just spent.

I ended up with mono and to bed I went.

But only for a couple of days,

I had no time before I was on my way.

Off to Hawaii, I got on the plane.

Leaving Caleb behind, who was also in pain.

I jacked up my neck, trying to get strong.

But I followed her to Hawaii, singing a song.

With a brace on my neck, and a smile on my face,

I met her there in that special place.

Sand in our toes, wind in our hair,

If anything went wrong, I didn't really care.

Cause it was a beautiful morning when we said, "I do."

He looked so handsome as he said, "I'll always love you."

God's creation was beautiful, land, sky, and sea.

But most beautiful of all was my bride-to-be.

Julie was gorgeous that day, as I looked at her.

And since then it has been happily-ever-after!

Our 15 Month Anniversary (aka 4th of July 2011)!

This last weekend was such a relaxing, great time.  It seemed like this year everybody went all out for the 4th...after all, it was an amazingly beautiful sunny weekend here in Portland, and everybody had a three days off work.  But for us, nothing could have been better than what we did...chill and relax and enjoy good company...as we celebrated our 15 month anniversary on the 4th!

In a way it started Thursday night, when Caleb and I went over to Eric and Roxy Ericsson's home.  Although they had met Caleb briefly last summer, this was the first time they all got to truly sit around and get to know each other.  It was sooo fun!  And after we left their house, Caleb has talked numerous times about the idea of maybe one day being missionaries in Mexico as well.  After all, he loves the Latin culture and has been learning Spanish.  They gave him a New Testament in Spanish, and since then he has been reading through it out loud everyday.  When he gets to a word that he doesn't know, he looks it up and puts it on a flashcard to practice.  He figures it is a good way to learn while reading through the book of Matthew, and by the time he gets to John, he hopes it is much easier!  Good idea, I would say!  All to say, we were very encouraged by them and inspired.  We talked about how we want to be like Eric and Roxy one day.  And what a compliment Caleb gave me to say that he thinks that Roxy and I are so much alike already!  I always thought we were kindred spirits, but to hear him say it made me smile! :)

Saturday morning we slept in a little and then headed over to the Lake Oswego farmer's market.  I love going to farmer's markets, especially that one!!  Caleb's knee was acting up a little bit so we didn't stay long.  But it was so relaxing to just walk around, see the vendors, and smells the produce and flowers, while holding hands.  :)

Later in the weekend, we would also go over to BBQ with Greg and Stephanie Williams.  We just love those two!  It was fun to go back to their house and think that two years ago she and I were roommates, praying to find our true loves.  And now they are here and we are all friends! 

Sunday we had a potluck at church.  Kirk Grover gave the message on God's love enduring forever.  It was such a great message!  And it was fun to see Caleb open up the meeting and share just a little bit at the start of the service.  Caleb has been growing in his walk with God so much, and it was fun to see him step out of his comfort zone a little.  :)

And finally we got to the 4th...our 15 month anniversary!  Caleb spent the morning reading and studying.  I was busy cleaning, with the windows open and the music on.  And come lunchtime, I made us a backyard picnic.  It was one of my favorite times with my husband I have ever had.  It was simply peaceful and simple.  And after we had lunch, we ate rhubarb strawberry cobbler with coconut sorbet (all gluten and dairy free!) and played scrabble in the sun.  I could not have asked for a more perfect time!

All to say, we didn't go out and do tons of stuff this last weekend...but, wow, we made some amazing memories.  This 4th of July is definitely one of my most favorites that I have ever had...

Lesson of the Day (Actually, of my life!! haha!)

So, this will not come as a shock to anybody that has known me throughtout the years.  I like to plan.  I don't like suprises.  And I do everything I can to prevent bad things from happening, take precautious measures you might say.  The problem has come when I take these qualities of myself, which can actually be good things, a little too extreme...to the point of worry and striving. 

When I was single, I used that as an excuse.  I would explain and reason my striving away by saying that I needed to be in as much control as possible.  I mean, if anything happened to my finances, health, car, work, etc., I didn't have anybody there to catch me.  I had to take care of myself.  So I did everything in my means to prevent these things from happening.  That can actually be a wise thing.  But I took it too far...I took it to the point of worrying if I didn't have enough "cushion."  My life was terrific, but I could still find something to stress about.  I took that responsible attitude way too far...to the point of striving to be in control.  And in reality, control is really just an illusion.

I realized this year...well, that sadly I have strived way too much.  But I have found that, when you feel completely out of control, as I have this year at times, striving does absolutely ZERO to improve the situation.

Again, no shocker, I know.  But somehow it has hit home a lot more for me recently. 

I have been excited when those closest to me have said that they see a ton of improvement in this area of my life.  I have to say it was not my own doing...rather, God pretty much allowed me to come to an end of myself, when I didn't have control, to teach me.  I had absoluty zero control, came to an end of myself, and guess what...God came through, and I was totally fine.  The things I stressed so much about preventing from happening actually did happen.  And I am okay.  :)

He taught me that I can trust Him to take care of me.

He taught me that He is "I AM"..He is in the present moment, with me, near.  As a friend of mine, Jan, explained to me not long ago, we stress when we think back to our pasts...it can fill us with sorrow or worry of the future.  We stress when we look into the future...that is so uncertain and unknown.  But God is in the moment today, and when we look at our lives for today in this moment, we are okay.  And that is what matters.  He needs to be our focus each moment.

He taught me that I can have complete faith in Him.

Because I have concluded that life is just one big learning lesson, I want to make sure I don't forget these things!  And as the opportunity comes up to "strive" to "control" again, I pray I will resist that temptation, and instead choose to be at peace in faith.

After I had been processing these thoughts for a while, I ran into a quote from a book that has made a huge impact on my life over the years.  It speaks almost exactly when I have been saying recently.  I want to share an little portion from it.  The book is called "True Discipleship" by William MacDonald.  I highly recommend it...it is really straight to the point, and a quick read.  When speaking on faith William MacDonald writes,

"Faith is opposed to sight.  Paul reminded us that 'we walk by faith and not by sight' (2 Corinthians 5:7).  To walk by sight means to have visible means of support, to have adequate reserves for the future, to employ human cleverness in insuring against unseen risks.  The walk of faith is the very opposite; it is a moment by moment reliance on God alone.  It is a perpetual crisis of dependence on the Lord.  The flesh shrinks from a position of complete dependence on an unseen God.  It seeks to provide a cushion again possible losses. If it cannot see where it is going, it is apt to suffer complete nervous collapse.  But faith steps forward in obedience to the Word of God, rises above circumstances, and trusts the Lord for the supply of all needs.  

Any disciple who determines to walk by faith can be sure his faith will be tested.  Sooner or later, he will be brought to an end of his human resources."

So when all is said and done, I know God knows my future.  And He is my constant companion.  He knows what is ahead, and is preparing me for it now.  But for today, my deep desire is to stop striving and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10)

Photo Session with Heather Hurt

I have known Heather for years.  Over 15 years ago, her sister Blair and my sister Janelle were inseparable.  And for the last 8 years or so, she has been my client and, most importantly, friend. As she is starting her new photography business, she graciously asked Caleb and I if we would be her models for an afternoon.  Of course, we said "YES please!" :)

I knew exactly where we would want them taken.  So we picked her up, and drove out the the Columbia River Gorge, near Dad's house.  We first stopped at Beacon Rock.  The upper picnic area is literally one of my favorite places I have ever been in my life.  The view of the rock is so incredibly majestic.  I love it so much, that the second time I ever hung out with Caleb, that is where we and couple friends went for a hike.  Little did I know then that I would marry that man one day! After that, when it was a little closer to sunset, we headed towards Thunder Island.  I absolutely love this area of the Gorge too.  Last fall, literally a week or so before his flare-up, Caleb and I had been in this area and played chess outside as we ate hamburgers.  Good, good memories.  Plus, these places are simply the perfect backdrop for any photo shoot!

All this being said, we are so thankful for Heather and her willingness and generosity!  Here is a glimpse of what she captured....

My Black Thumb. And Some Good News.

Throughout our quest to get Caleb's body healthy, I have developed a deeper love for healthy, unprocessed, raw fruits and vegetables.  God really is a great cook.  :)  However, I have decided He probably doesn't want my help too much.  Let me explain...

One day, Caleb was at work and this elderly lady mentioned she had some tomatoes she was growing.  The next thing you know, Caleb had four tomato starters for me to begin the garden of my dreams.  I had great aspirations going into this Spring, of me growing our fruits and veggies.  After all, I have been on a quest to add as many fruits and vegetables into our diet as possible.  It would be fun for me, relaxing, and save money! Brilliant idea....or so I thought. 

Here is a picture of the tomatoes the day they were brought home.  How sweet and thoughtful of my amazing husband....



And then, there is this.  It is a picture of the same tomatoes, taken this morning...



I killed the tomatoes!!!  :(  I watered them, I put them in the direct sunlight (when it was actually sunny).  I thought I did what I was supposed to.  Apparently not.  They never grew bigger.  One grew two extra leaves, and then stopped.  Simultaneously, the other three lost leaves.  And then, they went black.

Now, Caleb thinks he will be able to bring them to life again.  I am not holding my breath.  If he does, well, then that will make for a different blog.  At this point, I am saying "goodbye" to the idea of being a gardener....for this year at least.  :)

This has not deterred me from consuming our healthy produce, however! :)  I have continued to make Caleb a huge salad, about five times a week.  And we make smoothies with spinach, frozen berries, and a itty bit of raw honey, also about five times a week.  Here are some of our meals/snacks we have had...

Salmon with a hearty, protein-filled, salad

Ahi tuna steaks, with salad and corn on the cob

Spinach, pineapple, strawberry, mango smoothie

Then, a few times a week, I throw in a meal that is "heartier" and less healthy...

Blue corn tortillas, chicken, and dairy-free cheese...yummmm!

And so now for the exciting news....it is working!  Caleb is getting healthier...and as of June 15th, he has been off of the cancer drug! YAY!!!!

We are still super dependent on God to continue to heal him, and are praying that he doesn't flare-up again, now that he is off of all meds.  Please pray with us!  We appreciate more than we could ever express!

All to say, it feels sooooo good not to have the constant stress lingering over us, wondering if Caleb will be able to walk again tomorrow.  Or the fear of just knowing that in the morning a totally different joint could flare, and he would lose function of it for months.  Awww...my heart and mind are at peace.  And Caleb's spirits are high.  When he started back at the gym, he began with only 10 lbs.  (Where last year he left off at 100...)  After adding only 5 lbs a week, he is now using 50 lbs...halfway home! :)  Even a month ago, he had to be careful how he pivoted on his knee to get in his truck, knowing even that little movement could cause a flare-up. What an improvement!

All to say, we will keep on keeping on...doing the same thing we have been doing, just without the Methotrexate! :)  We will continue to pray, I will continue to prepare healthy foods (farmer's market's here I come!), and we plan to just enjoy our summer.  We feel like we are actually able to be newlyweds again! :) 

We never forget to thank God for our health, every single night, as we pray together.  He has truly been good to us.