Decisions

I just revisited an old article I wrote for Groundswell (a women's Christian online magazine).  I know I have used this article many places, but thought I would post it once again.   :) P.S. Some details are changed to protect confidentiality. :)

DECISIONS

I just got back from my nightly run, where I usually let my mind just go and think. But tonight's thought: “I want to just stop. I am so tired. I just want to walk. Oh, I am so exhausted...” Then it hit me. All my emotions were telling my brain to stop running. I was literally telling myself that I so desperately wanted to stop doing what I set out to do. But, despite my own emotions pleading with my brain, my brain kept going and my body kept doing the thing that I deep down knew was right. I was thinking two completely contradictory things at the exact same time. Yet my body still did what I truly needed to do. This made me think about how I wish that it were that easy with all decisions of life. So often my emotions tell me one thing so strongly, but I know that it isn't truly right. It is then that I have to decide. How am I going to make my decision?

I have found in my conversations, with my friends at the salon, that we can choose to make decisions in two ways. One, by our emotions. Two, by truth.

One of my most tender and sensitive clients came to get her hair done the other day. At first glance she had a smile on her face, but the moment she sat in my chair, and I asked her how she was, the tears started streaming down her cheeks. My heart broke for her as I handed her tissue and she shared with me a little glimpse of what had been taking place in her life since her last visit. As she spoke, my mind flashed back to that previous conversation where she told me about a man who she had recently met. To spare you unnecessary details, I will simply say that this man's lifestyle and approach to her were warning signs that he was bad news. I had tried to warn her that even one date could lead her down a slippery slope. She responded to me by saying that all she was hoping from him was to have a nice, casual dinner companion and that going to one dinner didn't mean that she would fall in love with him. I was concerned for my friend because what I was hearing her say, although her words said otherwise, was that she was sad and lonely and desired to be loved. She was excited to get her hair done so she would look lovely for this man. She was dreaming of what they would share and talk about. I was scared for her, that she would be let down by yet another man in her life, who had not proven himself honorable. In fact, there were red flags everywhere. When she left the salon that day I hoped that she would listen to the counsel I gave her, and that she would not run away with her emotions. I hoped that she would remember how we talked about what God desired for her life and that this man would only draw her away from that focus and purpose. Sadly, she went to dinner, which turned into another date, and so on. And so that same friend came in once again this last week, more heartbroken then before and ashamed of things she had done, a result of making a decision based on emotion versus the truth she knew deep down.

I remember explaining to her that our life consists of decisions. One decision leads to another decision, which leads to another decision, and so on. There are times that these two go hand-in-hand. But there are many times they do not. When that is the case, we can either make our decisions based on emotions, or we can make our decisions based on truth.

Emotions are an incredible gift that God has given us to experience things deeply. They make life full and colorful in so many ways, allowing us to truly experience life and relationship. But they are not always dependable or stable. The problem comes when we make decisions based only on them, even when that means contradicting God's truth. You see, emotions change constantly. They can sway us from one extreme to an entirely contradictory extreme within moments. I know from my own experience that I can feel a sense of excitement and anticipation, only to have one thought come to my mind that suddenly makes me fearful. I can experience grief and anger over an argument with a loved one. Yet, if that person were to walk into a room with tears in their eyes, I can quickly forget that I am mad at all and feel a sense of compassion toward them. Or, I can experience loneliness and all it would take is a call from a friend to shift my emotions.

Truth, however, is stable. Truth is always truth. So where does one find truth, and a firm basis to make decisions? Jesus said, “I am the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life.” (John 14:6) We must take what we experience in life and hold it up against what Scripture says. Scripture holds the truth we need to base our life, and our decisions on. Because “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man [or woman] of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

In speaking with so many women over the years I have found a pattern. We can either make a decision based on emotions and truth follows, or we can make a decision based on truth and emotions follow. For instance, as my client made the decision to go to dinner, based on her emotions and her longings to be admired, truth surfaced. We see this in hindsight because we were later able to see that if she would have asked God what He wanted, she would have been protected from the heartache I saw on her face recently. She would not have fallen into more sin and, in turn, suffered the pain that comes from that. If she would have followed God's Word first, the emotions would have followed. It would have been later that she would possibly see more clearly and become thankful for God's love and protection.

Emotions are both beautiful and powerful. God gave us emotions because we are made in His image and He Himself experiences emotions. I pray that we may be able to hide God's Word in our hearts and know it deeply so that we can discern what is truth. I pray that we are quick to listen to Him and not just our emotions, so that we make the correct decisions in life. I pray that we are able to experience life and the emotions God gave us to their fullest by knowing, loving, and obeying Him Who truly is Truth. And I pray that when it comes down to the moment of making a decision, when everything in us want to run away with our emotions, that we will continue doing what we know in our hearts God wants of us. I pray that we are found faithful.