Letting God be God

Caleb's recent flare-up has stirred up some really good discussion in the last couple weeks, as we have sat and just talked about life.  I got off the phone with my friend Crystal earlier today, where I told her about one topic in particular....

The other day Caleb asked me if I see anything at all in his life that needs to change.  He went to on to further explain that years ago, when he would have flare-ups, he thought it was God disciplining him for bad decisions he was making at the time.  And when he went into remission for a while, he looked back and thought that the purpose of them in his life was for correction and discipline because shortly after he got his life and relationship with God back on track, the flare-ups stopped.  So, that being his past experience, at times of his flare-ups he has often asked me that question.  He also told me that when he flares up, he has to fight the thought that God has withdrawn his love from him because he knows that is not the case.

That got me thinking that morning...and as anybody who knows me well knows, I am an external processor...so I began processing things I myself had been dealing with and my response was something like this.....

We need to rest, and let God be God in this situation.

It has been interesting observing people's reactions to Caleb's flare-ups.  I know and am so thankful that we are so loved.  Truly.  I cannot even imagine going through this alone, without the support of our friends and family.  In fact, learning to lean on others and receive love and help has been one of the biggest lessons for me in this entire process.  However, it amazes me how I let even the smallest comments effect me.  Somebody who has the most pure and loving intention can give me their thought on his flare-ups, try to figure them out (along with me cause I myself try to figure it out!), they give advice, etc.  But I can walk away feeling like I am not doing enough, or did something wrong, or my attitude isn't right.  And it gets me down a bit.  The reason:  I am trying.  I am trying so hard to be faithful to God with my whole heart. 

So I told Caleb that I think when we go through these flare-ups I feel like we can learn from Job in the Bible.  Job's friends I truly believe were well-intended people.  I think they had a genuine concern for Job.  They, as we all do, wanted to try to figure out life when tragedy happens.  In fact, some of what they said actually was true!  But some of it was wrong.  For example, they suggested maybe Job did something to displease God and that is why this the horrific things were taking place in Job's life.  I told Caleb, that we need to fight those thoughts he was having...because he himself was being like Job's friends to himself. 

And we need to just let God be God.  He is doing a lot behind the scenes in our life, that we don't see.  We don't need to try to figure it out, we just need to remain faithful.  In the end, God pretty much told Job....I am God.  Let me be God in your life.  You won't understand my ways, but you can trust Me.  Let me be God.  Have faith in me. 

So that day, Caleb got in the shower and I heard him begin to sing hymns in the shower.  When he got out, he told me, "I am over my short-lived pity party.  I told God I am done with it."  And he kept on going and kept on singing.

That is hard for me to do.  I have realized in this last flare-up how much I let the opinion of others sway my thoughts and I take it on.  This isn't right.  I am not necessarily going to have the answers to the "why's" in life, although I can try to figure it out.  And sometimes God will, in his grace, give me the reasons.  I need to just rest because He told me He is with me and I don't have to be afraid.  His ways are not my ways. 

The crazy thing is that, after I shared some of these things I am learning with my friend Crystal, I went and got out the book "Jesus Calling"...then picked up the phone to call her again.  It was amazing how it was almost verbatim what we had discussed.  I hope others find this really encouraging as they navigate their way through the ups and downs of life...God is with us.  We need to let Him be God, because He is, and He is good.

"Try to stay conscious of Me as you go step by step through this day.  My Presence with you is both a promise and a protection.  My final statement just before I ascended into heaven was: Surely I am with you always.  That promise was for all of My followers, without exception.

The promise of My Presence is a powerful protection.  As you journey through your life, there are numerous pitfalls along the way.  Many voices clamor for your attention, enticing you to go their way.  A few steps away from your true path are pits of self-pity and despair plateaus of pride and self-will.  If you take your eyes off Me and follow another's way, you are in grave danger.  Even well-meaning friends can lead you astray if you let them usurp My place in your life.  The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me.  Awareness of My Presence is your best protection."