Another Day at the Hospital

My amazing friend Liz, and her husband Mike, sent us a sweet Valentine's Day package a couple weeks ago when we had yet to go to the hospital.  But, it was perfect timing, because in it she included a CD mix with lots of wonderful music on it.  So, in my usual style, I have been listening to one song on repeat over and over.  But this song in particular has really touched my heart and encouraged me.  I remember listening to it a few years after mom died, while I was still grieving pretty good.  The words really speak to me again, but in a new and deep way, as we are spending days here at the hospital.  I encourage you to look it up online and listen to it....

If You Want Me To

by Ginny Owens

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

CHORUS:
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to

This is really my heart as we go about our days.  And for today, we have much we are thankful for, and much we are still praying about.  But through it all, we are at rest cause we are going through it with the nearness of God with us.

We are soooo thankful that we seem to be finding a treatment for the heat and flare-ups that Caleb has been experiencing over the course of the last few months.  Therefore, for the first time in weeks/months, we see much normal colored skin on Caleb's feet.  The painful, hot condition that literally feels like his feet are the oven is controlled!  This is a HUGE answer to prayer, because until that happened, we knew we would remain here at the hospital and the pain would remain.  Because of this new treatment, it looks like we will be here only a couple more days instead of weeks!!!

However, we do have a few more prayer requests over the course of the next few days....

1. That the meds do not mess with Caleb's mind/emotions.  Last night he was hallucinating.  (Telling me he wouldn't be a little boy anymore and needed to grow a tail....I dont know whether to laugh or cry when I write that!)  And he seems like his speech is slow and he seems a little more down.  In his words, he just feels off.  These meds are helping so much that we really dont want to take him off them.  But this has kinda changed our mood here at the hospital a little bit.

2.  He is experiencing some random numbness in different parts of his body and we are unsure why at this point....we will be talking to his neurologist about this later today.  Please pray that the numbness goes away.

3.  A correct diagnosis.  They are still getting results back from different diagnostic testing we have done and it looks like we have a diagnosis coming soon.

4.  That his pain subsides.  While on narcotics he was down to a level 6 pain.  With the new drugs, there isn't the heated flare-up, but he is still in a 7.5 level pain.  They aren't putting him back on this because they could make his nerve pain in his feet worse.

5.  I may attempt to go back to work tomorrow or Monday......ahhhhh.  Please pray that I am emotionally able to do it.  I think I am going to be going back into society a little different of a person....but that is good.  Thankful, vulnerable, compassionate I hope.  And I hope to encourage those around me as I go.

We are hopeful we will have him home on Sunday or Monday....so a week at the hospital is much less than we thought it would be, so we are thankful!!! (Please make sure you say thank you to the Lord for that huge answer to prayer!)  But we have such a long way to go.  We had a physical therapist come in today.  We were able to maneuver him onto a wheelchair and dangle is feet.  We attempted to get him to stand with a walker, but that was unsuccessful.  So its a slow process, but we keep going.

In the meantime, it looks like his men's group from church (that is kind of a ministry training group of a few guys) will be coming up here to meet at the hospital tomorrow.  That should really encourage Caleb.  They are some of his best friends. 

We both want to thank you for all the love and support we are receiving!!  It is seriously overwhelming!! But the thing that means the most, and is most effective, is the prayer...so keep it coming please!!  I think I am going to want one big worship service (which I will sob at, I am sure!) when this is all over!!  ALL the healing is coming from God going ahead of us and guiding us as we go.  We sure love Him, and are thankful He is good and loves us too.