Moments Make Memories

I have a huge weekend ahead, where Caleb and I are planning on being pulled in every which direction.  But today I am not so much thinking of my to-do list.  Rather, I am thinking these are the best days of my life. 

I think this means I have grown a lot over the last year.  I remember getting stressed out over everything that was on my plate one night last year, and Caleb's response was to gently say, "Don't stress out Sweetie.  These could be the best years of our life."  So true.

So today, as I prepare to race around for the next, well month, but in particular the next three days, I have a smile on my face and actually am making time to sit and write and reflect on life. :)

Some friends of mine invited me to be part of their book club recently.  They are currently reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp.  I highly recommend it.  In fact, I know of multiple book clubs who have read through this book recently.  The whole idea of this book (so far, since I am not finished with it) is a story of a woman who had suffered a lot of heartbreak in her life.  I could relate completely.  She had lost multiple people close to her.  And through life she walked with God, but realized she was lacking something.  She describes the series of events in her life that lead her to realize that the thing she was missing was "joy."  And after reading in the Bible, she realizes thankfulness goes hand-in-hand with joy.  Nothing profound, I know...many of us have heard many sermons and even preached it.  But I am reminded in a new way, as I read this book, that all the little moments in life (like making Caleb his lunch for him every morning as he reads his Bible) together all add up and really make up our life.  The author began to realize that those little moments are actually little gifts from God that we all seem to pass by and not not even notice when we are busy.  So now, as the author did, I am beginning my new "list"...but this time is isn't a to-do list.  It is a list of 1,000 gifts that God gives me.  And as I write them down, I am in essence thanking God for his nearness in my moments that make up life.

To further my thinking, this morning I had a Rascal Flatts playlist going in the background as I got ready for the day.  It ended up landing on "Ellsworth, Kansas" which is such a sweet song.  It is about an elderly woman and what she actually remembers as she has Alzheimer's.  What she remembers...her husband of many years.  It has me smiling and contemplating my life.

There are so many memories I love....that I didn't realized were going to mean so much when they happened.

If my kids ask me why I am wearing a black and orange HUGE jacket in my pictures of Caleb and I getting engaged, I will laugh.  He wanted me to wear his letterman's jacket so bad that day.  I almost think giving me his jacket was more important to him than the ring! :)

When we both had health issues and were tight on money, I prayed for enough money for a Christmas tree.  Little did I know we would be given a gift card and go buy a super small, not so pretty, fake Christmas tree.  But it was our first Christmas tree together.  And I love that!

Speaking of Christmas trees....I introduced Caleb to the old singer Evie this year!  He had never heard the Evie Christmas album "Come on Ring Those Bells"!!!  So as he laid down and slept after a football game one Sunday afternoon, as his knee was all messed up, I decorated the tree.  Sometimes I would realize he was awake and watching me though.  Special time.

I could go on and on....but I actually do have things to do today! ha!  But I am going about my day peaceful, with joy.  Because I know I have many memories that are being made as I go about.  First thing on my list...bring Caleb his lunch he forgot to bring to his work, before I head to the salon. I have a feeling it is a moment in the making... :)

Life with Caleb Barnes

Sometimes Caleb just cracks me up.  And other times he just melts my heart. :)

Since I began blogging to be a family journal, to archive our family happenings, I figured I would jot down some things so that I won't forget.  I am realizing it is the small things, all the little moments, that make up life.  Considering how many special moments I have in my life, I know I am one blessed lady.  Without a doubt.

Anybody that knows Caleb know that he wakes up smiling and singing, and goes to bed smiling and singing, and is smiling and singing everywhere inbetween.  :)  But the best is when he is truly unedited at home, and nobody else is around.  For instance, last night.  I finally have him flossing and rinsing with mouthwash.  So to make it more "fun" he started swishing the mouthwash to a beat in his mouth.  But that wasn't enough.  He walked into the other room and started dancing to that beat and got some major groove on....until he cracked himself up and almost spit the mouthwash all over the carpet!! :)  Oh, a day at at Barnes'... :)  Caleb keeps life light and keeps us laughing.

But the next minute he can just say something so endearing.  He really is a such a sensitive guy, as manly as he is on the exterior.  Just yesterday morning he told me the sweetest thing ever.  He said, "I just love you so much more every day.   Married life only gets better and better, even when you think it can't!  I thought I loved you so incredibly much the day I married you, but compared to now I don't even know if there is a comparison!"  I told that to my friend, Pam, and she (who has been married probably around 30 years) told me it only gets more and more like that throughout the years. :)  Its hard to believe.  But, wow, it makes me excited. And makes me so glad I waited for the best man for me. :)

And the best compliment he has given me recently..."You are such a good wife. I was thinking this morning that you are just like Peyton Manning." HAHAHAHA! I was like, "Thanks???"  He continued by saying, "You looked like a #1 draft pick when we were dating, but ended up being better than I even thought!" If you know my husband, this is the best compliment he could ever give me!

Thank you Jesus, for my husband.  And I pray we will be like Pam and her husband, and years from now look back at many, many years and are deeper and deeper in love. :)  I love Caleb Barnes.

A Perfect Morning

There aren't many things that can beat a quiet morning, when I can sit and read my Bible over a cup of hot, strong (but creamy) cup of coffee and fresh baked lemon poppyseed scones.  :)  Especially when I sent my husband to the store this morning to buy the stuff for the scones for me! haha!

This morning I am studying the book of James, for a small women's Bible study that I am leading next Saturday.  I am really excited about it....I love how no matter how many years go by, you can always learn (and re-learn) things as you open up God's Word.  The book of James is so practical, and has so many lessons to be learned. 

However, as I study this morning, I keep going to a verse Caleb read to me this morning in his reading.  So opposite of the "American Dream"...but, oh,so important....

Proverbs 30:7-9

"Two things I ask of you, O LORD;

do not refuse me before I die:

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, 'Who is the LORD?'

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God."

Decorating on a Budget

I was talking to my friend, Karen, this last week when she got her hair done.  And I was telling her how being creative has been so refreshing to me in the last year.  I love having craft days, or nights, where I just create things that can be used around the home.  And what is even better yet, anybody who knows me well, knows I always love the challenge of doing something on a budget. 

So here are some pictures of things I have done recently.....

Chalkboard Clipboard & Magnets

(The clipboard idea was from my friend Echo...super easy...clipboard, chalkboard paint, magnets for the back! And magnets I made with buttons and the the leftover magnets from the clipboard.) :)

Placemats

(I made these placemats fro my Dad for Father's Day. However, I may make him some different ones that are more Father's Day-ish cause they didn't turn out as manly as I was hoping.) :)

Sign for my Kitchen

(Okay, so I made this forever ago.  But I was kinda hesitant to post it.  You see, my friend Cammie makes the most amazing signs EVER and this seriously looks like it is an under $10 sign compared to her really good ones. But when I found a board for a few bucks, I totally copied her idea.  But it will obviously most likely be my last one.  Figured I should post it anyways. haha!  In other words, if you want a sign, contact Cammie!) :)



This week I am on to bigger things...I am going to attempt to refinish some furniture.  My friend, Crystal, is coming over.  And we are going to tackle a desk that my friend Jo gave me, and a chair that my friend Heather gave me.  Free furniture...borrowing an electric sander from my friend Carolyn....my hope is the cost will be the cost of paint!  Which my friend Jana helped me pick out some colors...hahah...this is a group endevour! :)  Can't wait....pics to come...IF it turns out!! :)

Reflections from the Mirror

Being a hairstylist, I have worked in front of a mirror every single day for almost a decade.  At first I didn't mind it.  When I would look in the mirror, throughout the day I would just touch up my make-up and fix my hair when I would see something that had to be fixed, no big deal.  Then, as time went on, I started resenting the mirror, because the more you look at it, the more you realize all that needs to be changed!  And then, I have found recently that sometimes it just feels like too much work to keep up with all the changes that need to happen, when I am tired and exhausted after years of trying to look perfect all the time.  I have found recently that many days, although I look in the mirror many times during the day, I just don't pay too much attention to myself and move on with my daily tasks.

My fear is that this will be true of my life spiritually, as I read God's Word.

James 1:22-25 "But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was.  But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides in it, not having become a forgetful hearer, but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does."

So many thoughts go through my mind what I read this passage this morning.

What is the purpose of a mirror?  You look at it and you see what is okay, and what needs to be changed.  Sometimes it tells me that I need to backcomb my hair more cause it is flat.  Sometimes I have something in my teeth and it tells me I need to get it out.  Sometimes I see dark circles under my eyes and the mirror helps me recognize I need more sleep.  Other times I feel rested and look refreshed and it shows me I am at rest in life.

But what if we didn't let the mirror do what it is made to do, as I have found myself doing recently?  My question would be, "Why even have a mirror?" 

It is not enough to own a Bible, or even self-deceive ourselves with learning it intellectually, if we don't approach it with a desire to let it penetrate our lives and change us to be more like God.   In fact, if we approach it without having a desire to hear and obey God, we get discouraged and frustrated.  Just like if you simply own a mirror, you just get frustrated looking into it if all you do is see what it says and do nothing about it.

I made another observation when I read this passage in the New American Standard Bible version.  It speaks of looking at your "natural face" in the mirror.  That is why I like this version the best when I read this passage.  I will tell you what...I would so much rather look into the mirror when I have my make-up on than when I have no make-up on and I just woke up!  I think too often, we learn to make ourselves up spiritually.  We learn how to put on our "spiritual mascara" and "spiritual concealer" to make our natural face look better.  But what is underneath is actually pretty unattractive.  When we look into Scripture, it really has the ability to speak to us, where we really are without our "cover-ups"...and it is when we hear what it says, and do what it says, that we are changed.  Otherwise, we just pretend we look good.  I think most of us have become good at looking like we are okay, but in reality we aren't as good as it looks on the surface.

Lastly, I love the end of the verse that says "But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does."  This may not sound popular to many people, but it has been pressed on my heart many times this year as I have spoke with many people.  People too often want the blessings of God, without the sacrifice of obedience.  They want to live life however they want and put a cross on top and call it Christian.  Not how it works.  If we want the blessings of God, we really need to approach His Word, let it penetrate our hearts, listen to what God has to say, and do what God's Spirit in us helps us to do. 

All to say, I was challenged this morning as I read.  And I pray that it doesn't end with me just having these spiritual thoughts and then going on with my life.  I pray that today, and the days ahead, that I focus on what the Word tells me and that I obey it.  I pray that I won't approach Scripture the way I have slowly come to approach my mirror at the salon....I pray I won't become callused to it and that I will always quickly respond in obedience so I can become more beautiful in Jesus' eyes.

Decisions

I just revisited an old article I wrote for Groundswell (a women's Christian online magazine).  I know I have used this article many places, but thought I would post it once again.   :) P.S. Some details are changed to protect confidentiality. :)

DECISIONS

I just got back from my nightly run, where I usually let my mind just go and think. But tonight's thought: “I want to just stop. I am so tired. I just want to walk. Oh, I am so exhausted...” Then it hit me. All my emotions were telling my brain to stop running. I was literally telling myself that I so desperately wanted to stop doing what I set out to do. But, despite my own emotions pleading with my brain, my brain kept going and my body kept doing the thing that I deep down knew was right. I was thinking two completely contradictory things at the exact same time. Yet my body still did what I truly needed to do. This made me think about how I wish that it were that easy with all decisions of life. So often my emotions tell me one thing so strongly, but I know that it isn't truly right. It is then that I have to decide. How am I going to make my decision?

I have found in my conversations, with my friends at the salon, that we can choose to make decisions in two ways. One, by our emotions. Two, by truth.

One of my most tender and sensitive clients came to get her hair done the other day. At first glance she had a smile on her face, but the moment she sat in my chair, and I asked her how she was, the tears started streaming down her cheeks. My heart broke for her as I handed her tissue and she shared with me a little glimpse of what had been taking place in her life since her last visit. As she spoke, my mind flashed back to that previous conversation where she told me about a man who she had recently met. To spare you unnecessary details, I will simply say that this man's lifestyle and approach to her were warning signs that he was bad news. I had tried to warn her that even one date could lead her down a slippery slope. She responded to me by saying that all she was hoping from him was to have a nice, casual dinner companion and that going to one dinner didn't mean that she would fall in love with him. I was concerned for my friend because what I was hearing her say, although her words said otherwise, was that she was sad and lonely and desired to be loved. She was excited to get her hair done so she would look lovely for this man. She was dreaming of what they would share and talk about. I was scared for her, that she would be let down by yet another man in her life, who had not proven himself honorable. In fact, there were red flags everywhere. When she left the salon that day I hoped that she would listen to the counsel I gave her, and that she would not run away with her emotions. I hoped that she would remember how we talked about what God desired for her life and that this man would only draw her away from that focus and purpose. Sadly, she went to dinner, which turned into another date, and so on. And so that same friend came in once again this last week, more heartbroken then before and ashamed of things she had done, a result of making a decision based on emotion versus the truth she knew deep down.

I remember explaining to her that our life consists of decisions. One decision leads to another decision, which leads to another decision, and so on. There are times that these two go hand-in-hand. But there are many times they do not. When that is the case, we can either make our decisions based on emotions, or we can make our decisions based on truth.

Emotions are an incredible gift that God has given us to experience things deeply. They make life full and colorful in so many ways, allowing us to truly experience life and relationship. But they are not always dependable or stable. The problem comes when we make decisions based only on them, even when that means contradicting God's truth. You see, emotions change constantly. They can sway us from one extreme to an entirely contradictory extreme within moments. I know from my own experience that I can feel a sense of excitement and anticipation, only to have one thought come to my mind that suddenly makes me fearful. I can experience grief and anger over an argument with a loved one. Yet, if that person were to walk into a room with tears in their eyes, I can quickly forget that I am mad at all and feel a sense of compassion toward them. Or, I can experience loneliness and all it would take is a call from a friend to shift my emotions.

Truth, however, is stable. Truth is always truth. So where does one find truth, and a firm basis to make decisions? Jesus said, “I am the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life.” (John 14:6) We must take what we experience in life and hold it up against what Scripture says. Scripture holds the truth we need to base our life, and our decisions on. Because “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; that the man [or woman] of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

In speaking with so many women over the years I have found a pattern. We can either make a decision based on emotions and truth follows, or we can make a decision based on truth and emotions follow. For instance, as my client made the decision to go to dinner, based on her emotions and her longings to be admired, truth surfaced. We see this in hindsight because we were later able to see that if she would have asked God what He wanted, she would have been protected from the heartache I saw on her face recently. She would not have fallen into more sin and, in turn, suffered the pain that comes from that. If she would have followed God's Word first, the emotions would have followed. It would have been later that she would possibly see more clearly and become thankful for God's love and protection.

Emotions are both beautiful and powerful. God gave us emotions because we are made in His image and He Himself experiences emotions. I pray that we may be able to hide God's Word in our hearts and know it deeply so that we can discern what is truth. I pray that we are quick to listen to Him and not just our emotions, so that we make the correct decisions in life. I pray that we are able to experience life and the emotions God gave us to their fullest by knowing, loving, and obeying Him Who truly is Truth. And I pray that when it comes down to the moment of making a decision, when everything in us want to run away with our emotions, that we will continue doing what we know in our hearts God wants of us. I pray that we are found faithful.

A Birthday In The Sunshine

You know you are old when.....

Your husband asks you if you want to go out of town for your birthday, and the most amazing thing you could think of is just staying home, relax, and save money!!!!

And that is what we did.  And it was amazing. :)

But I have to say that Caleb did spoil me!  He made me coffee in bed (which actually he does everyday), he made me the most amazing cajun chicken lunch and got us dessert, we played Nertz out in the sun, watched "Oklahoma," and read a chapter from the book we are reading together right now.

He did bring home a grill for me as well....which really is the gift that keeps on giving because it means he is going to cook for me more regularly!  That is the best part about it! :)

I am so blessed, and I absolutely know it.  So tonight, as I start a new year of my life, I will lay my head on my pillow thankful...and relaxed, because it has been such a great day.