A few minutes ago, I sat down at my computer, quite inspired to write about something I had been thinking about all day. However, after a quick scroll down the list of blogs that I follow, I came across one that made me stop. And now I can't stop praying for a friend of mine. Without going into too much detail, she has come face to face with a trial that could change the course of the rest of her life. She wrote so beautifully, and so transparently, about the process she is taking as she comes to terms with the issue at hand.
And I had no clue. Absolutely none.
To explain, I haven't actually seen my friend in years. But I have followed her on Facebook quite regularly, as of lately. I always appreciate a genuine person. And from her Facebook statuses and her photos, she seems as real as you can get. She always seems to have it together and seems to have the most beautifully simple life. Beautiful lady, beautiful family, beautiful style, beautiful heart.
But I had zero clue as to the emotions she has been dealing with lately. None.
And I think this proves my point as to what I have been chatting with some friends about recently. I have mentioned that I think I may just start using Facebook in a totally different way than I have in the past.
I want to preface what I am going to say by commenting that I have loved Facebook. Unlike my husband, I check it every day. I love scrolling through pictures of my sisters who live far away. It is a great way to see what is going on in their lives, as well as my in-laws, extended family, and out-of-state friends. I try to use it to encourage people. And it is a way to keep in touch with many people we would never see again, if not for Facebook.
But there is a "but"....
It started with reading an article that came out not too long ago. The whole premise of the article was that some studies have shown that the numbers of teens who are suffering from depression are on the rise since the rise in Facebook's popularity. Let me explain...
A person logs on and the first thing they look for is if they have any notifications, messages, or friend requests. If there is none, whether they realize it or not, there may be a itty bitty sense of disappointment. Then they scroll down the newsfeed. Here they see tons of pictures where everybody is smiling, with their friends, doing fun adventures. They see other friends who have logged into being at different locations, or tagged friends in their statuses. And to the person looking at this, if they don't feel a part of it, are left feeling lonely, unpopular, and left out.
The study was done on teens....but I have to say that, for many people in my generation, I would not doubt if it was the same numbers as in those same statistics of young adults.
This has got me thinking of how I use Facebook myself. What is my real motivation when I write something? Sure, some statuses, like announcing the sun is out, are absolutely harmless. But is everything else?
I have to say that I have always tried to be balanced. I love posting pictures so that my sisters, Caleb's family, and long distance friends, can have a peak into what is going on in our lives. It sure saves money on printing up pictures and mailing them to everybody! And it is a lot more fun than waiting to see each other, to show each other, as we would have probably even a decade ago.
I have thought, since reading the article, that sometimes I tag friends in my statuses. And I have checked my motivation for doing so. Sometimes I just want to honor a friend and let them know that I appreciated hanging out with them, or talking to them after being much over-due. But is there a need to tag people I was with in every post? Absolutely not.
Caleb thinks Facebook is kind of ridiculous in some ways. In fact, I am the one that checks it for him. While he is doing other things, I call into other room where he is, "Sweetie, do you know so-n-so?" and then I accept or decline based on if his response.
I am not saying we should approach Facebook like my husband. He is just a guy who doesn't care if he keeps up with every single person he has ever met. He is content keeping up with the a small number of people, and doesn't like people knowing everything about his life really.
Anyways....this all makes me contemplate....
I never use Facebook as a tool to vent. That is immature. So what does that mean the world thinks of my life? Sure, I have an incredibly blessed life. And I am not going to begin to write negative stuff on it either! In a way, I really feel like I have given a great representation of my life. But so much is left out...the tears, fear, and uncertainties I face.
And I think it is a good reminder to step back sometimes and realize that people delete the bad pictures of themselves. And they don't (at least they shouldn't!) vent and complain, and make their life sound horrible. Every single person has good and bad in their life. Often times, Facebook only shows the good.
I think we all need to check our motivations for writing what we write. I think we all (myself included) should really re-evaluate the time we are investing into it. Are we spending hours looking in, on only part of people's lives, who we actually don't talk to? We should really have old-school friendships, where we call each other to find out what is really going on with each other. After all, I had no clue what my old friend was dealing with from just looking at her Facebook.
All to say....(after much over-thinking the topic! haha!)...as my husband would say, there is way too much of an emphasis on social networking. It has sometimes replaced good ole' fashioned quality time and depth of relationship.
And a friend of mine said, as we were discussing this, that this is the direction that our society is going. And maybe it is the best time to check ourselves.
I am just processing externally these thoughts. I can't say I have come to any concrete conclusion. But I think they are worthwhile, none-the-less.....
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